digitizedsouls | (psl) tell me, is it blood on my lips?

[ no - no, kaeya will not forgive him for the heartbreak. he will not allow this, will not let diluc get away with leaving him behind. not when he has such a long, long life yet to live, a life he cannot imagine bearing without diluc at his side. they've been together for so very long, equals and opposites in all ways. diluc is his anchor, his balance, his foil, and his greatest love.

and kaeya is far too selfish to let that go. ]

No, please -

[ his facade cracks, panic and anguish clear in his expression, kaeya's eyes wide and bright as he squeezes diluc nearer, heedless of his pain. this isn't the way that this will happen. diluc was meant to grow old beside him, to stay with him as long as his mortal life allowed - not this. not this. that bloody cough makes kaeya's chest constrict. ]

Tell me do do it, Diluc. Tell me, please..

[ he doesn't want to do it without his permission, and yet.. and yet, kaeya is already leaning over him, already pressing sharp fangs to diluc's thready pulse, and biting down. i'm sorry. i'm too weak without you. ]

[Kaeya all but crumbles, pulling Diluc in. The sudden motion and sensation of being held so tightly hurts, but he finds comfort in the gesture all the same. If this is how it all ends for him, he wants to savor this closeness for as long as he's alive enough to perceive it. Kaeya is his world, and Diluc wants to hold onto him until the last.

How this is happening is cruel, and that hurts more than the wound.

He balls his hand into a fist in the fabric of Kaeya's shirt and buries his face into his chest. Kaeya speaks, but the words melt into an incoherent blend of sounds--he's so focused on remaining alive and clinging that he doesn't spare the mental energy on parsing the words. It's not until their respective positions shift enough that Kaeya can sink his fangs into him that he realizes what it is he intends to do.]

Ah--

[His mind races. Should he fight this? He's almost certain that he can't, especially now that he's losing blood both to his wound and Kaeya drinking from him. The more appropriate question is if he wants to fight. And in all honesty, he's not sure he wants to...

The edges of his vision darken, and his body starts to go lax in Kaeya's arms.]

No, no, no - dammit, Luc!

[ he can't handle this, the weight of this responsibility.. it's too much, it's too hard, and kaeya is far, far too weak. the idea of losing diluc here, like this, so suddenly - he can't take it. how can he live without him? how can he possibly face immortality alone, without the only person that has made his life bearable? worth living?

something wrenches in kaeya's gut. ]

I'm sorry.

[ forgive me, diluc.

seizing hold of diluc's limp body harder, kaeya pulls the blood from him in great mouthfuls. it tastes beautiful, hot as hellfire, like no flavor he's known before, and a soft groan vibrates against diluc's skin. kaeya can feel his heartbeat as it weakens, more and more time passing between each fluttering thump, until at last kaeya pulls away with a sharp gasp, blood running down his chin, staining his teeth.

loosing one hand, he tears at his wrist with one fang, opening the delicate skin, his own blood pouring free, which he soon presses to diluc's mouth. ]

[Diluc drinks like a man parched, his mind so clouded by the lack of bloodflow that he's no longer able to debate with himself. The taste is strangely pleasant, crisp and clear like the Cryo of his Vision, and as strength creeps back into him he takes hold of Kaeya's arms and drinks with more fervor.

The Vision at his hip, which has been flickering dangerously ever since he first collapsed, flares back to life.

The next few hours pass in a feverish haze as his body simultaneously heals and dies. He's vaguely aware of being taken somewhere and being set down, at which point he reflexively reaches out and grabs at Kaeya's shirt so that he can't leave him alone. His grip only relaxes when he more or less passes out as his transformation continues to wrack his body.

And then, suddenly, he's awake. He sits bolt upright, looking around the room with no small amount of confusion. Something's wrong. He can feel it.]

Kaeya?

[ it's early in the evening when diluc finally stirs. the curtains have been opened, revealing mondstadt's lovely rolling hills, stars dotting a velvet sky.

kaeya had been here, restless, through diluc's entire transformation, never once leaving his side, even if there was nothing he could do to ease his discomfort and pain. kaeya had been alone, when he'd been turned, turned by a master who cared little for him, and he did not want that for diluc. he shouldn't be alone, right now.

so diluc will find kaeya sitting in a chair beside one of the open windows, the night wind rustling his hair, and the moment diluc sits up, kaeya turns, watching him carefully. being turned is a different process for everyone, and kaeya does not entirely know how diluc will react to it - surely with fire and rage, he thinks. but kaeya is calm, and there's a rare solemnity to his features, his sharp eye heavily lidded, watchful. ]

Good morning.

[Diluc's shoulders visibly relax slightly when he looks over to find Kaeya sitting there. Truth be told, calling out for him had been reflexive rather than a thoughtful act. It's one of the few things that he knows with absolute clarity in this moment: that Kaeya should be here with him right now. Needs to be here with him.

Which begs the question: why does he know that so intrinsically? His recollection of the past while is murky. The two of them were fighting an Abyss stronghold when he had taken a mortal blow. From there, the details blend together into a haze; he remembers being held in Kaeya's arms and being fed something. Afterward came feverish pain. And now, impossibly, he's sitting in bed with hardly a scratch and senses so sharp that the world seems off kilter enough that it's giving him a headache.

...

No. He didn't.

Fuck..]

What did you do?

[There's a noticeable edge to his voice, the question accusation and warning both.]

[ the tone of diluc's voice has kaeya flinching visibly.

it's not like him to be so affected by diluc's moods, his anger, but this.. this is different. this is as heavy as a stone in his stomach. that sharp edge in diluc's voice.. kaeya knows full well he's deserving of it, and worse. he didn't seek diluc's permission for any of this, went into it knowing full well that there was a very good chance that he would never have wanted this, would never have chosen it.

but kaeya couldn't help himself. he's always been selfish. ]

I..

[ he starts, then looks away, because diluc knows full well what kaeya has done. what he has now become. kaeya's voice is soft. ]

I couldn't lose you, Luc.

(psl) tell me, is it blood on my lips?

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