digitizedsouls | (psl) so now my dear it's just a matter of time

[It was supposed to be an "or" option! Dammit, Baltie!

Hilda sighs heavily. He really is going all-in on this idea, and trying to talk him out of it isn't going anywhere. She appreciates the sentiment, she really does, but she just can't make him understand that she'd rather not spend tonight in the infirmary with him. Which means she has no option left except to go for broke.

It's time to get him thinking with a different head.

After taking off her gloves and setting them carefully aside, Hilda approaches him, presses in close, reaches up for his collar, and pulls him down into a heavy kiss.]

[Sometimes, the direct method really is best.

It actually manages to take him by surprise; he looks momentarily bewildered as she marches her way over to him, eyebrows raised in the split-second before she grabs his collar and yanks him downwards. It's a considerable distance between the two of them, but that's very quickly forgotten the moment her lips are on his.

He sputters, briefly, as best as one can while in lip-lock, before managing to relax and part his lips against hers, dropping a hand against the small of her back as he finds himself very keenly aware of just how close she's pressed and how warm she is. That heavy kiss is returned with only the briefest moment of hesitation as he struggles to shift gears. He'd been narrowly focused before, but no longer.

Consider him thoroughly distracted.]

[Hilda should have started with this, honestly. Not only is it having the intended effect, but she's really, really wanted to do it for awhile now. Balthus is strong and warm and so incredibly close, and the kiss is just as perfect and hungry as she'd imagined it would be.

She winds her arms behind his neck and jumps up, wrapping her legs around his waist and trusting him to catch her. Once she's stable, she breaks the kiss just enough to speak.]

We can worry about you keeping that promise to me another time. Please?

[When she can make sure to have healers ready, ideally. And when she's not quite so... er, eager.]

[Whoa, whoa, whoa—

It occurs to him, just for a moment, that he would have to be pretty stupid to argue with this. Unfortunately, he has a long-standing reputation for being pretty stupid— well-meaning, sure, but not always the brightest guy around.

The kiss breaks for breath only when it has to; his face his flushed and somewhere in there, his hands had moved to support her from beneath as she'd hoisted herself up and hooked her legs around his waist, and wow, does having her against him feel even better than he'd thought it would, and he'd thought about it a lot.]

Yeah, of course, but— you sure?

[Because there has to be a reason they haven't gotten around to this before now, right? Part of it is definitely because it felt weird to rush things when it was her— she's always been pretty damn important to him, once they'd actually remembered one another— but also, five years wasn't exactly a short amount of time, either.]

[Hilda pauses, shifting her position a bit so that she can let go with one arm long enough to brush some of hair out of his eyes. Once she's able to see him better, the smile she gives him is much more tender than anything.]

Yeah, I'm sure. I've been sure for a long time, Baltie.

[That's a bit of an understatement, to the degree that she's pretty sure that Balthus himself is the last to realize this. Marianne, bless her, has listened to many a fantasy about what kind of lives they could lead together after the war, unbound by obligations. The Professor has offered what little advice she could, based on her own limited experiences. Claude, upon learning of this late evening rendezvous, wished her luck and muttered something about maybe now Balthus will stop talking about his mom. (Hilda is NOT interested in interrogating that one further.)

Even Holst, of all people, wrote about it in a recent letter: "For all that you write about Balthus these days, Hilda, perhaps you ought to just kiss the man already."

Maybe she'll tell Balthus about all that later. For now she replaces her hand behind his neck and presses her forehead to his, closing her eyes and just letting herself enjoy how close they are for a moment. It feels too nice not to.]

With... everything... it never seemed right to say anything before now. But the war's finally over, and here we are. You and me.

[Though slow on the uptake about a lot of things, which very much included this situation, Balthus has known how he's felt for a long, long while, too. It's less that he never acted on how he felt about Hilda as a whole so much as that spending more and more time with her and doting on her in his own clumsy way had just happened so naturally that he'd eased right into playing the part of Her Guy without ever really taking any definitive steps. In some ways, that meant things between them were comfortable and easy, but in others, he had admittedly been cautious about pushing things forward. It felt right to let her be the one to make that call— he was supposed to be looking after her, and that included keeping an eye on himself.

And, lest either of them forget, he has yet to meet his own criteria for being worthy of her, but for now, he thinks he can let that slide and let her make the call on that, too. Actually, the idea of letting Hilda be in charge? Pretty great, but that's beside the point.

He grins from ear to ear to as she presses her forehead against his; he's sure he looks like a complete idiot, because he sure feels like one, but he honestly doesn't care.]

You and me, huh. Do like the sound of that— have for a long time, too.

[That's hardly a secret. Anyone who saw them together for any length of time could see that he'd been sweet on her forever.]

I still don't know if I'm good enough for you, Hilda, but if you think I am, I gotta trust your judgment.

[He's not just talking about the trial-by-self-combat thing, either. It does run deeper than that— but the heat he's feeling with the warm line of her body pressed against his is an insistent enough reminder that this isn't really the time for that kind of conversation.]

[If Hilda could see the grin, she wouldn't think he looks like a idiot at all. If anything, her own smile is just as wide and giddy. It's wonderful and freeing to finally let this happen already.

His words make her hesitate briefly, but only because of how deeply they strike her. Balthus truly believes that Hilda is a better person than she actually is. He always has. And because it's him, it's something she wants to live up to rather than run from. She doesn't even have it within her heart to brush him off like she does with so many others, complaining about how he's making her give a shit about something for once. She just does, and she's more than okay with it.

Of course, wrapped around him like this, it's not the time for mushy feelings even as they threaten to boil over on both sides. So Hilda recovers quickly, leaning in and giving his ear a light nip.]

If you need convincing, I'm sure I can find ways to show you how "good enough" you are.

Edited 2021-08-26 05:15 (UTC)

[Perhaps fortunately for both of them, that suggestion of hers pulls him right out of any thoughts that may have remained in his head proper, and he sputters momentarily before laughing.]

I'm starting to feel pretty convinced. Uh—

[Wow, he really dislikes how unsure of himself he's sounding during this. He's the Hunkalicious King of Grappling, ever confident, runner-up of legendary bar tabs and woo-er of women. Truth be told, it's been a long, long while since he did anything relating to the latter, and even when he had, things were often embellished in the telling— but it says a lot, probably, that he loses all of that over-inflated confidence where Hilda is involved.

He swallows hard and leans in to press another kiss against her lips, grin persisting despite his efforts to take this seriously, heat having risen from his chest into his face.]

Should we go somewhere else?

[If things are going to go how he thinks— hopes— they are, then they really don't want to get caught here.

Or maybe they do? Maybe that's why Hilda had chosen now. Shit, had that been the missing piece all this time? No, stop. He's severely overthinking this, and that's more dangerous for him than most people.]

Good.

[There is absolutely nothing about how Balthus is responding to her right now that Hilda would change. She's not looking for this to be some sort of sexual conquest to be shared with drinks and hyperbole later. If that were the case, she would have jumped him long ago. This is the beginning of something more than that, and they both know it, so a bit of uncertainty is to be expected.

The grin he can't quite get rid of just makes her that much more confident that they're moving in the right direction. It's a serious moment in their relationship, certainly, but there's no need for them to act too seriously about it. She returns his kiss with a small laugh of her own, pleased and heated.

As far as his question goes, Hilda's not averse to the idea of having sex somewhere where they might be caught. She and Balthus are hot as hell, and it would be a privilege for whoever walks in on them to see.

But not for tonight. This first time, she wants it to be private.]

Yeah, let's go somewhere else.

[A pause.]

You plan on carrying me the whole way like the delicate maiden I am?

[She is neither, but that's beside the point.]

[That's...

That's actually a good question, one that makes him flush up to his ears.]

Do you want me to?

[He definitely could, and do it easily. This is, he reminds himself, the same girl who learned to ride a wyvern so she would have someone to help her carry her axe in battle, and he expects that if she ever needs to in a pinch, she would climb on his shoulders and ask him to fill in as her mount if they need to get somewhere on foot in a hurry.

He decides to take charge and answer this one for himself, making sure his arms are secure around her waist as he starts to head away from the training ground and towards the barracks.]

Don't answer that— I'm doin' it.

[You can't stop him.]

[Balthus pulls it together and starts walking before Hilda can respond with something akin to 'I wouldn't have asked you if I didn't want you to.' She would have said it kindly enough, probably, but it's better not to have to.

Is this setting a bad precedent? Perhaps. But it works in her favor, so it's not like she has any complaints. Especially not now, when her primary motivation for remaining in his arms has less to do with laziness and more to do with how close and warm he is like this.

There are multiple ways he can serve as her mount, and she intends to take advantage of all of them.

Hilda holds on tightly as they move, resting her head on Balthus's shoulder with a soft hum of approval.]

Are we moving with a specific location in mind?

[It's a question of curiosity more than one of direction. As long as there's a door they can lock, she honestly doesn't care where they end up.]

[Is it really a bad precedent? Leave it to Hilda to get out of walking somewhere she doesn't have to— although this is a pretty singular situation for other reasons.

He feels the flush in his face grow hotter as she makes herself comfortable in his arms, not a moment's hesitation in any part of her reaction. She's completely at ease with herself, which throws his own nervousness into sharper relief, but he does laugh as he manages to swallow it down.

This had been a long time coming, hadn't it? What the hell was he so nervous for? Really, he knew the answer before the question had even fully formed in his mind.

He'd been with other women before, but he'd never cared about any of them the way he did about Hilda. This was— different. Special. It meant more.]

My room?

[Given that he lives above-ground now, it's not far off— closer than hers, he's pretty sure, since he'd taken a room on the ground floor.]

Think we can make it there without drawing too much attention.

[Hilda's ease comes from the same place as Balthus's nerves. She knows full well that this isn't going to be sex for its own sake. It's going to be sex with feelings, and Hilda finds the vulnerability strangely freeing. Because it's Balthus, who cares for her as she is, there's no need to perform an act or put on airs of any kind. She can just be herself.

It's something she really likes about being around him. His earnestness makes her a bit of a better, more honest person.]

Your room sounds perfect, Baltie.

[Her voice is little more than a contented purr, a side effect of how comfortable she feels and the anticipation of what's to come as soon as they close the door.]

I don't care who notices us on the way. It's not like we have anything to hide.

[They're already well on their way, the dormitory he'd taken over just a short walk from the training grounds— the door to which he actively kicks open in order to pass through, his hands currently occupied as they are. Hilda could probably support herself if he needed to use one, but... he's not all that inclined to change things up at the moment.

Her reminder does send another wave of heat through him, a lot more than just his face this time, and he can't help leaning in to nuzzle against the side of her face as he carries her, nose and lips lightly brushing against the spot just in front of her ear.]

Yeah— hell, let 'em watch.

[Well.

Not the act itself.]

Maybe we'll even make someone jealous on the way.

[Despite the rocky start of the evening due to Balthus's well-meaning idiocy, right now everything about the situation is perfect. The door slams open with a satisfying thunk--hopefully it won't be the only thing he slams around tonight, she can't help but think--and the feel of his face against her skin sends a spark of electricity down her spine. She laughs, a joyful noise tinged with something a bit more carnal.]

They should be jealous. I've managed to snag myself quite a catch.

[Seductive flirtation aside, she means that in ways beyond just the physical. She leans in to punctuate that sentiment with a brief kiss, barely pulling back when their lips part.]

As much fun as an audience would be, I don't want to share you tonight.

Hell yeah, it's not everyone who gets to brag about being with brawling royalty!

[Well, actually, quite a few people in the past— he knows it's the same for Hilda, neither one of them is exactly pure as the driven snow, but it's still different this time around. His remark is bordering on flippant, but there's a rasp to his voice that makes it very clear his attitude about all of this is anything but.

The kiss stills him; he halts his progress towards his room so that he can return it in kind, really enjoy the moment as he parts his lips beneath hers and letting out a soft, breathless chuckle when the kiss breaks.]

Promise, I'm all yours.

[And not just tonight— not by a longshot. He wouldn't threaten to punch himself out for just anyone.

He chases after her lips to steal another kiss before he shifts her weight against him, renewing his hold as he resumes the trek to his room. Before long, the familiar row of doorways leading to various dormitory rooms shows up on their right, and he grins as they slow to a stop in front of the one he's claimed.]

Do we risk kickin' this one off its hinges?

[That could be problematic, but look. He knows she's into the door-slamming.]

["I'm all yours."

Hilda feels her heart soar with those words, spoken softly with a smile into her lips. Even if she knows she'll be a demanding partner--she's self-aware, if nothing else--at the end of the day, all she really needs from him is that devotion. It's only fair, since he has hers.

(Their feelings are going to overflow whether they want them to or not, it seems.)

Whatever pithy response she might have given in any other situation dies before it can even take form, and is buried when he leans in to kiss her again. She doesn't mourn it, instead, letting herself be entirely consumed by the rush that comes with his mouth on hers. This is better than getting the last word.

Once they arrive at Balthus's dorm--too soon and not soon enough--Hilda leans back a bit in response to his question.]

We should probably be a bit gentler to this door. I've got it.

[She clings to one of his shoulders as she reaches down to fumble for the doorknob. It takes a few moments, and the whole enterprise is far from graceful in its execution, but eventually she finds the knob, gives it a twist, and swings the door open behind her.]

There.

[His breath catches as he does his best to support her while she leans down, exposing the long line of her neck to him in the process— he can't resist leaning in and pressing an open kiss against it, his breath teasing against her skin, but the moment the door is open, he collects himself and hefts her across the threshold.

They've waited more than long enough already, haven't they?]

Perfect.

[He grins, using one foot to nudge the door closed again behind them once he awkwardly shuffles them through— he's still big, after all, and while carrying her, it takes a little bit of maneuvering to get them through the door— and drops a hand just long enough to lock it.

It hits him all over again that they really are doing this for real, and he can feel his grin growing wider in the process as he carries her towards the bed, stealing another heated kiss on the way, each one growing heavier and more insistent. The bed is standard-issue, but considering how close they plan to be?

He thinks it'll be big enough.

Fortunately, the rest of the room isn't much to talk about— which means no messes or stray items to distract her or send her Full Goneril.]

Sorry it isn't fancy, or anything...

[He knows how much she likes pretty things.]

[The touch of his lips on her neck delays her ability to get the door open, causing her to briefly claw at the wood of the door in her fumbling. Whether or not Balthus noticed doens't matter--certainly he's picked up on the effect he's having on her even without that umpteenth clue.

There's something endearing and exciting about the repositioning required to fit through the door and lock it behind them, and Hilda finds herself laughing when he pulls her in for another deep, perfect kiss. This is happening, really happening, and part of her feels completely giddy with the repeated realization of it. It's been a long time pining and dancing around the obvious in the name of larger, more pressing matters. What a wonderful world that they live in now where they can just be together.

The bed he carries her to only needs to fit him--she'll be under or on top of him before too long. A quick glance down at it confirms that they'll be just fine in that regard.]

I'm going to be honest here. I don't care about anything in this room right now except for you.

[She hasn't even looked at it, to be honest. She'd much rather keep her eyes on him.

Finally, reluctantly, she unwinds her legs from around his waist and returns her feet to the ground. The first article of clothing, if it can be called that, is immediately done away with: she removes the clip from her hair, letting it flow freely down over her shoulders and back.]

Yes, ma'am.

[How does she always say just the right thing? The smile he gives her in return is strangely bashful— it almost looks out of place on him, but he helps her on her way to the floor, making sure she touches down gently before he reluctantly releases his hold on her waist.

It's only for a minute, he reminds himself— and as much as he wants to help undress her, it's probably good that they're each taking a moment to get the ball rolling. His eyes are fixed on her without question as she lets her hair down; he watches it cascade down her back as he pulls his own gauntlets off, one after the other, tossing them aside to fall heavily to the floor. He can always pick them up later, but he wants his hands free now.]

Save some for me, yeah?

[He grins, moving close again so that he can reach behind her start tugging at the lacing of her bodice, pulling her loosely against his chest in the process.]

No fun if you do it all yourself.

[The way Balthus's eyes remain on her after he helps her down, looking at her like she's the entire world, brings a bit of a flush to her cheeks. How much he clearly adores her isn't a surprise, exactly, but she's never seen it so nakedly in his expression before. It stirs something in her, soft and wonderful, and she finds herself wishing that she will get to see his face like this much more often.

His experience as a lady's man (a deserved title, if hyperbolized) means that his hands know exactly what they're doing when he reaches for the lacing of her bodice.]

I'd never dream of denying you, Baltie.

[Her voice is much more tender than even she herself expects it to be. Look at him, making her be all mushy despite her bets efforts. She rests a hand on the exposed part in the middle of his chest, enjoying the warmth and strength she finds there.]

But only if you do the same for me, okay?

[There will definitely be many, many opportunities for her to see him like this again— especially if he has anything to say about it. She may be heading home soon, but it's not forever, and who's to say he won't follow right after? Where else does he have to be that's more important than by her side?

Experienced as his touch is, it manages to be soft despite his face, and he gives her his broadest grin in response as he pulls her bodice loose and holds it out to one side, dropping it on a nearby chair— she'd never forgive him if he dropped her clothes on the floor, he's willing to bet.]

Promise. Besides, it's better that way.

[More excuses to touch and explore, even if they don't really need excuses. That doesn't keep it from being exciting, and he can feel his skin burning hot and eager beneath the spread of her hand.]

Hmm. Boots next.

[With that, he hoists her upwards again and sets her down on the bed, matter-of-fact as he can manage.]

[She'd love nothing else for him to follow her back to Goneril Territory, especially after what they're sharing here tonight. It's certainly not a matter of if they'll reunite, but a matter of when. Hopefully, it won't be too long.

His careful approach to discarding her clothing earns him a nod of approval, and she leans up to press a soft kiss in the space between her thumb and forefinger on his chest.]

Good.

[She starts to ask him to turn around and give her easier access to the buckles that hold his belt in place, but he has other plans--literally sweeping her off her feet and setting her onto the bed. A yelp of surprise rises out of her chest, followed quickly by a peel of honestly-delighted laughter. She's about as strong as he is, but the difference in their sizes makes it so easy for him to fling her around like this. It's a fun bonus of being with him, she's quickly realizing.

She looks forward to several more such realizations.]

I didn't realize this meant you were going to take everything off of me before I get my hands on you.

[From the way she's smiling up at him, she doesn't mind this development in the slightest.]

Well—

[He laughs warmly, reaching up to ruffle his own hair with one hand.]

We could take turns, if you like. Keep it fair. But first, boots.

[Hers are certainly tall enough that if they wait too long to take them off, it's only going to get more cumbersome, and if he's being perfectly honest, he's in a big hurry to get tangled up in one another— enough so that they might not get everything off before he caves. Time will tell.

Gently popping open the fastening at her thigh, he takes hold of one of her boots at the heel, gently grabbing hold of her ankle before giving it a tug, beginning the careful process of freeing her.]

Damn, how do you put these things on every morning? Not that I'm complaining. They're— [He pauses to clear his throat, his face coloring a little.] They're real nice.

[He may have known where that clasp was because he's spent a not insignificant time staring at her legs.]

We don't have to take turns if you're in a hurry to see me without my clothes, Baltie.

[She's teasing, both in the traditional sense and in a very, very sexual one. If his imagination is anything like hers, it's a thought that's been running through his mind for quite awhile. Impatience is licking at her same as it is him, but if it makes him happy she can wait a bit longer.

There's something downright luxurious about Balthus removing her boots, and for neither the first nor last time tonight Hilda thinks about how easy it would be to get used to this.]

Trust me, it's a much less pleasant process than getting them off.

[Her smile grows a touch wicked, and she adds:]

If you really like them that much, I'm sure I could be convinced to wear them and nothing else for you sometime.

[That tease is purely sexual. Look, he should know what he's getting into, falling into bed with her.]

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